Some Kick-Ass Mulled Wine

During the winter months, depending on where you live, it can be ridiculously cold. So cold, in fact, that you'll need a hot alcoholic beverage to warm your frozen bits back to an acceptable temperature. Being from Chicago, I know what a cold winter can feel like, trust me. If you've got guests coming over, get some of this mulled wine heated up, and you'll be warming up to each other in no time. Naked. At the Swinger's party. How you got there, I don't know. That's not me in the corner.

1.5 Liters of Red Wine (or more!)

Dark Brown Sugar

Two or three oranges sliced into thin wheels

Cinnamon Sticks

Whole Cloves

Whole Allspice

Nutmeg

Grand Marnier

A note about the wine -- since it's going to be warmed up and sweetened, don't break the bank on the wine. Choose a decent, cheap, red wine, and you'll be all set. I usually don't spend more than eight dollars per standard bottle for something like this.

Pour all the wine into a pot with plenty of room (think stock pot), and set it on the stove on low. Toss in your thinly sliced orange wheels, along with three or four cinnamon sticks, five or six whole cloves, five or six whole allspice berries, and grind a bit of nutmeg into the mix as well. Mix about half a cup of brown sugar into the wine, dissolving it, and toss in a splash of Grand Marnier (about an ounce or so -- just enough to get that sweet orange flavor into the wine).

What you need to be really careful of is to make sure the wine does NOT boil. If it boils, you may have ruined it. Just let all the flavors steep till the wine gets nice and warm, strain out all the spices, and serve in hot drink mugs with fresh cinnamon sticks for stirring rods. Make sure everybody gets an orange wheel!

Don't forget to save a glass for me! If I'm not around to join your sweet-ass party, then pour a mug's worth out on the curb, saying, "One for my homie Dennis and his liver!"