The Tessa Maye Cocktail

Tessa, one of my good friends, has a 100 top things to-do in life. One of these items was to have a cocktail named after her. So I fashioned this bad-boy after her, and it is absolutely incredible. Fizzy, smooth, sweet, full of lemon and sunshine, perfect for summer, and it looks cool as fuck. Just like Tessa.

I mean come on now. But, as we all know, alcohol will not necessarily make just anybody fall in love with you -- they'll just think you're a hot piece of ass after a few of these sweet-ass drinks. Unfortunately I still remained an assface to Tessa after she had one of these.

"Hey!" she squeals in protest. "I never thought you were an assface! You're just funny looking!"

Doh!

Any attractive young females want cocktails from a "funny-looking" little man? Party at my place! I swear I'm not creepy. I cook for Chrissake. How creepy could I be? Don't answer that.

5 oz. Champagne

1 oz Limoncello

1/2 oz. Raspberry Liqueur or Syrup (syrup is preferred because it sinks better)

Combine Champagne and Limoncello into an 8 oz. flute glass, stirring gently.

Sink the Raspberry Syrup to create a blush effect on the drink. Hold it up to the light. You are officially a pimp, or pimpette. If that's even a word. Pimpette. Fuck, I went to college? For rhetoric? I sound like a goddamn moron.

Garnish with Mint leaf stuffed into a raspberry. This is one sweet garnish because it floats and looks so awesome, but beware, it tastes like shit. Who thought mint would taste so crappy?