Be Safe Here

I had one of those dreams again all

hazy and blurry around the edges like light bent in water when I

Woke up all I remembered was that

I was being cradled by these arms and she said

“Be safe here” and I felt like I was home and

 

I woke up in an empty apartment filled with

empty rooms

Full of that kind of vacuum-sucked-silence you only get when

Nobody has come around for too long and I

Felt too young to be so lonely.

So I started the day trying to find that warmth again the

same warmth she left in me

But I started off with a breakfast of

numbing white powder up the nose

And for lunch I dined on some small pills to make me

float.

 

You see, I thought that the higher I floated that maybe

She would come back to me in a vision because

Chemicals were such good friends when everybody never

Had enough time to spare not

even a few minutes for a coffee

 

As I lay on my red couch searching for her in my

muddled mind

I curled up into a little ball wondering why home was now just

A word and not a real place and I heard

Her calling me through my disoriented

state-of-mind

 

I could not make out any words but she was laden with

Sorrow as she tried reaching for me but by then I had

Made up my mind that I would never let her make me feel so

frail and I was full of this strange helpless fury

So I took a few extra pills, a few more than I usually choke

down

 

And I let myself slip and stumble into the darkness

I said, perhaps to myself, “You’ve seen everything now go,”

Later when I woke in the twilight everything

was so still