The Cruel Chicago Winter (So Cruel.)

Chicago is best in the cold sharp air

The kind of cold that makes you

Hurry home after work

With your nose all red and

The skin on your face so taut and dry.

If you are walking along in the crisp air

Don’t be alarmed if a little Korean guy

Comes running down the sidewalk, shrieking

Wearing nothing but a pair of dirty moccasins

That little man is me.

I lost a goddamn bet. Don’t ask. Please.

I apologize if you thought that this poem

Would be a serious one, because for a moment

The first stanza almost turned into something

That could have been worth

Keeping for at least a little while.

But it’s true, what I said up there in that first stanza,

Chicago is so incredible in the cold

Especially if you’re with somebody you love

Who can corroborate your crazy story about my little chapped ass

And that unbelievable banshee howl that you can hear

All the way into the next neighborhood.