The Sandwiches of Destiny

 

“You’re not cooking,”

I heard one of the children say.

A delicate smell of sizzling pork

Wafted in from down the hall.

 

“Yeah dude,” replied the other.

 

Out of the quiet kitchen I heard a

Single stuttered word, repeated in

Infinite bursts of speed, over and

“Fire-f-f-fire-fire-fire-fire-fire

Fire-fire-fire-fire.”

 

I was pretty sure the kids were just

Playing a joke on me when the

Aroma of cooking meat hit me like a

Bag of bricks to the face.

 

I realized the children were cooking my

Unable to contain myself,

I barreled down the hallway for what

Seemed like an eternity, smelling that

Juicy tender odor of white meat,

Seared over a cast iron skillet.

 

“Pork chop sandwiches!” I exclaimed.

It seemed like an eternity as I rushed

Through the hallway.

 

I burst into the kitchen to see the curtains

Engulfed in massive flames.

 

My survival skills kicked in at the last

I began to shout at the children.

 

“Oh shit, get the fuck out of here!

What are you doing, go!

Get the fuck out of here, you stupid idiots!

Fuck! We’re all dead, get the fuck out!”

 

The children looked at me blankly

But upon hearing the stream of expletives

The goofy bastards flew out the door.

 

As we stood outside the house, sirens

Rapidly approaching in the distance,

I became pensive, thinking about the meal

“My God,” I said. “Did that smell good.”

 

The fire engines stopped outside the house.

Men streamed out, ready to fight the

One of the children looked at me, and said,

“Detected, did no goin’ and you

Tell me do things, I done runnin’!”

 

I stared into the flaming timbers of the house,

Wondering just how I would explain

To my brother that his idiot kids

Burned down their goddamn house.

 

But my mind kept going back to those

Sweet, succulent pork chops.

 

If everything had played out differently,

How would the sandwiches have turned out?

 

I know now that they would have been